Top 5 Crushes of the Week

As if I've stated before, the life of mandatory leisure affords me little contact with the outside world, which means there are fewer opportunities to indulge in any new affections. Thus I must turn to the internet and TV in order to appeal to these fancies.


5. An italo disco gem: Kano's "Another Life" video.



He gets my attention with freeze frame poses and maniacal stares. And blaring Moogs are the only way to my heart these days. Plus, he's got babes in plastic cages.

4. London from Daisy of Love



Admitting this is kind of embarrassing. What's more embarrassing is the soundtrack and the "tribute" clip above to Daisy and London's budding relationship. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I can't help but be heartsick for any doe-eyed bad boy with a sensitive side. Please come over so we can brood together.

3. Christine Baranski as Maryann Thrope



She is the mother I've always wanted. She would buy me the best designer clothes and instruct me never to drink domestic champagne.

2. BOYS ON BIKES



OMG TIS THE SEASON! And even though a bad biking decision brought me to the life of mandatory leisure, I am still going to fall in love with and stare down every boy that zips down 15th Street on a fixie or road bike. Duh, I'm a total stereotype. But nothing gets me aroused more than the sight of tatted calves pumping pedals as I oogle over the color scheme of his rims. I pray he stops so then maybe he can nurse me back to health while we make out to Repeater.

1. NICHOLAS CAGE FROM 1983-1990



I'd give it up to him while cruising on Sunset Boulevard



I'd bust him out of jail and have his babies



As long as loves like he does in the pictures.