My guilty pleasures are getting guiltier by the day. I'm becoming too emotionally invested in the Real Housewives of New Jersey now, and I can't decide which team to bat for in the Dina vs. Danielle World Series of Hate.
A lot of people would side with Dina. She's very cool and collected. She doesn't really need to raise her voice, even in the throes of a battle. We certainly don't share the same tastes in interior design, but I could appreciate her merits and "artistic" sensibility. More importantly, I think I'd want Dina and her super size family on my side in the event I run into some trouble.
Though, Dina and I are both extremely sensitive, and it's most likely we would bicker. Plus, I'd get bored of saying the right thing and being her gay little pet. If I rebel, which is likely, I'd probably be excommunicated from the Manzo family. Which means sleeping with one eye open.
Which is why my heart often goes out to Danielle the underdog. She's trying to clean up her act and fall in love, but she's looking in all the wrong places. I could see us drinking Cosmos by the pool. We'd talk about our (boy) problems, start crying about it, and then go on a ski trip for good measure. I'd certainly feel less inhibited as she would convince me to engage in illicit phone conversations with a 50+ sugar daddy, but at least I'd get a Black American Express card out of it.
Yet I know Danielle will be calling/texting me every hour of the day, wanting to talk about her boy problems and not listening to my advice. I'd lose interest real fast and I'd probably run back to Dina and recite an Act of Contrition. I would earn her trust again by spilling the beans on Danielle's rough past and weird sex life. Then, Caroline would come out of nowhere with a large plate of lasagna to fatten me up and welcome me back to the Manzo family.
But, then you'd know by next week I'd be on another bender with Danielle. That's reality TV for you.
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